While I wrote a litte about self talk in the first section, here I will expand on the sibject with addtional hints at how I make it happen in my life.

Every day every person talks to themselves. Sometimes it is quietly in their head while at other times it is spoken clearly for others to hear. What is said during the these talks is important in each persons life. It is important because what is said is what the person believes and what they believe guides their life.

It is for this reason each person should pay attention to what they say and think. If these self talks are sad or limiting, the persons life will be sad and limited, while happy uplifting and optimistic self talk will bring joy and prosperity.

When reading the postings on Facebook of my friends and their friends over the years this truth has been evident many times. I have lived a happy and fulfilled life so far and I have been watching my self talk for many of those years. I purposely let happy thoughts crowd out the sad thoughts and the can do thoughts overcome the I can’t whenever possible.

I recently began exploring how I managed to get this to happen and discovered many of the things that make my life go right I was taught by my parents or I discovered in one of the many books I have read. Since I am aware that not everyone had wonderful parents, I have written some of the most important of these thoughts below in hopes that other can read and understand how to bring joy, health, and prosperity to their own life.

I understand many will read these words and their self talk will immediately tell then these words are meaningless and they do not apply. All I can say is you will make of what you read whatever you want and your life will not change in the slightest unless you are willing to pay attention to what you are saying and what you believe. Once you begin to pay attention and actually hear what you are saying you will have the ability to change your life for the better. It is your choice, choose wisely,

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Here are some of the sayings my dad impressed on me.

1 - Someone put this thing together. I am at least as smart as they were so i should be able to take it apart and fix it. This was his way of saying that he could repair anything and by implication build anything. Did he always succeed? In a word no, but every time he tried, he learned a little more so the next time a similar problem came along he was better prepared and after many years of trying, he could indeed fix most anything. This is the same attitude that allows me to do new things all the time. Boredom is not an option if you are willing to learn.

2 - The most useful words in your life are” I Don’t Know” so long as they are followed by the words, “but I’ll find out.”

These words start you on a path to success. Every time you admit you do not know and work to find out, even when the the actual question came from someone else, you expand your range of knowledge. We live in a world of knowledge so the more knowledge you have, the better your chance of increasing your prosperity.

3 - I don’t think I would do that.

My dad almost never said no to anything I asked. He would either say : “That sounds like a good idea” or “I don’t think I would do that.” Frequently he would not or could not explain why, but I eventually came to understand two things from this behavior. The first was that he was right many more times than he was wrong, but he let me learn for myself. I later learned that he frequently did not know why. He had this inner sense about right and wrong that led him to the correct decision. Somehow he passed that ability along to me. I call it my little voice. If I will but listen, there is a quiet little voice in my head that will guide me along the right path. For that reason, when a big decision arrives in my life, I still follow my dad’s other advice and:

4 - Sleep on it.

This will allow time for you subconscious mind to prime your little voice to give the guidance you need. You need to think on it extensively before you sleep. As with all other endeavors in life, nothing happens unless you work toward the result you want.

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And now, my Mom’s favorite sayings:

1 - “I can’t” never did anything, “I’ll try” did it all.

Every time you say “I Can’t” you are limiting yourself. This goes along with “ I don’t know how” If you say either of these or any of the many other such saying, then you are doomed before you have ever started the project. In the words of Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

This was one of the biggest problems that I faced as a manager of people. A new employee would could to me and say, “I/we can’t….” All the other employees would smile because they knew what was coming next. I would then give my canned lecture about never uttering those words in my presence. Tell me it is too expensive. tell me it will take too long, or any of a million other thing but never say I/we can’t. I refuse to this day to be limited by those words. I’ll Try still does it all.

2 - You can be whatever you want to be

I started from a poor rural background. I was born during the depression when my dad was working for the military, putting tires on train wheels. When I was two years old, dad left the military and we moved to West Point Georgia. There we lived on 40 acres covered with woods and an old 4 room house, heated with wood fireplaces in each room. There was a 60 Amp electrical entrance that had just been added to replace the gaslights still visible in the rooms. There was only one light bulb in the center of each room. In the kitchen there were some cabinets and a oil burning stove. There was no indoor plumbing and the trip to the bathroom in the winter was through the snow, rain, sleet, or whatever else God provided.

Now, 70 years later, I am retired with a reasonable income, and with family and friends all around. Now I am neither a celebrity nor rich, but I never wanted to be. I wanted to help people and teach others, which I did all my life. With much hard work, and carefully considered choices, each time a door would close, new one would open. I received no college scholarships, nor other financial help. My inheritance was one small tractor and a bunch of junk from moms basement.

Yet, I still think I have had and am still enjoying the good life. As mother used to say, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we have nothing to eat except beans! The good news is that we have a lot of beans we canned last growing season.” Of course it was seldom true in the literal sense because she always canned multiple vegetables and we had a cow for milk, but we all understood that was her way of saying be thankful for and appreciate what you have. I later discovered that is the path to happiness.

3 - You can do whatever you are willing to put you mind to doing

Early in my high school career, I was learning about electronics and reading science fiction. In fact, I read every science fiction title in every library within a 1 hour bicycle ride from my home. One afternoon, after I had spent an entire months allowance on one of the first commercial transistors (It was called a CK 722 if you are interested). I succeeded in breaking the one of the fragile leads that very afternoon. I read about these things called computers that could understand your talk and perform all sorts of amazing tasks Of course this was only science fiction, but it made me think. I had studied the agricultural revolution and knew we were in the middle of the industrial revolution, and I decided that the next revolution would be the information revolution.

During the Agricultural revolution the rich people were those that owned large amounts of land. In the industrial revolution it seemed to me that the rich people were the ones that owned the factories and employed many workers. After some thought I decided that the rich people in the information revolution would be the people that had access to vast amounts of knowledge. I promised myself then I would be an information have and not an information have not. I have worked my entire life to gain access to information and to share that information with others.

4 - Walk away from trouble if you can.

Yes, there is a song by Kenny Rogers that builds on this theme. Many things both good and bad will occur in each life. Some of them will demand that you participate in them. One example is obtaining food for each day. If you fail to engage this process you will starve or live off the good will of others. I prefer the freedom of choosing my own food so I seldom avoid this activity even if there are undesirable aspects of killing fish and animals involved. Other things happen that you may choose to get involved with but rather choose not to for example the next election cycle. You can choose to participate or you can choose to be an observer. Between these two extremes are things that are forced on you. A bully comes to your school and demands you give them your lunch money or they will beat you up. Again, you get to choose. You can hand him the money and hope he goes away, or you can take action that may result in physical damage. I was never one for fist fights so I choose my battles carefully. Giving in until I was in a better position to correct the problem. In this sense, walking away is giving him the money. Of course if you give in every time, he will keep coming back for more, but giving in allows you time to develop a plan for dealing with the next occurrence.

5 - Do not run faster than your guardian angel can fly.

I truly believe that every person person has a guardian angel that watches over them on a daily basis. This idea is closely connected the the small voice in your head that provides direction. It is the only explanation I can provide for what some call accidental happenings that turn out for the best. If you look for these things in your life and learn to appreciate them when they happen, you will have a much happier life. Suppose you are driving in the winter and hit an ice spot on the road. Your care starts skidding out of control off the edge of the road. Just as you are about to go over a steep bank your wheels are stopped by a ditch that is the exact size of your tires and your car stops just off the road. Accident? Coincidence? Perhaps, but I prefer to that my guardian angel for my good fortune and travel happily along my way.

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Not all my learned self talk came from my parent. I have also learned wonderful things from learning about the life of others. One of my favorites is Jack Le Lane a 1950’s television fitness trainer that pulled a boat load of people several miles when he was 80 years old. His daily mantra was:

Every day in every way I am getting better, healthier, and happier.

I have a note with this comment taped to the mirror where i shave. Every morning I see the note and repeat those word to my self many times as I stand there and even after I go on with my life. After some time, I noticed that I was thinking those very words at random time throughout the day. What a wonderful feeling to believe that things are getting better in my life.

In addition to self talk from others, there are some sayings that I have developed over my 75+ years of living and seeing things happening over and over in my life. I will share some of those ideas here.

1 - Follow your dreams

If you are following your dreams there is no limit to where you can go. It is not enough to sit around day dreaming of things you want to do, you must put your dream into action . I once read a way to actually make this work. Take a 3x5 card and write on it 10 things that you would most like to do in your life. Do not be limited by money, your lack of knowledge or any other factors. Just write the 10 most wonderful things you can think of. For example, one of my dreams was/is to travel to the space station. I have not made it yet, but is is still on the list. Many other things on my list have needed to be replaced over the years as they have been accomplished. The most recent was to purchase a motor home and begin travel the country.

Once you have the card, place it somewhere where you can look at it every day. In your desk drawer at work, behind the sun visor in your care, etc. Now, every time you think about your card, take it out, read it, and put it back. In a few years you will have to revise your card to add new items and remove the ones you have accomplished. Your subconscious mind will process these things and cause you to make choices in your life that will lead you to you goals.

2 - Always get a job you love.

If you love what you do for a living, you will never work a day in your life. It will be play time each and every day. You will be happy in what you do. If you find yourself in a job that does not make you happy, put get a better job on your dream list. Do the best you can at your present job and watch for the opportunities to change that will present themselves. My first job was a car hop at a drive-in restaurant. I was given 3 dollars at the start of my first shift. I was required to use that to purchase the food the patrons ordered, then collect the money from the patrons. Anything they paid over the posted price of the food was mine to keep for providing the service. I was so bad at making change after 4 hours of hard work, I had to use $1.50 of my own money to repay the $3 I was given. In other words, I paid $1.50 to work for my first 4 hours. Needless to say I learned to make change pretty quick and over the summer I made enough money to purchase my first car.

3 - The movies you watch and the music you listen to changes your self-talk.

If you listen to music, and watch movies about disasters, people doing bad things to others and similar sad, scary, hopeless, traumatizing activities, you will incorporate those ideas into your self talk. You will take on the characteristics of the character you are watching or the pictures the music creates in your head. This is true of music even if the music has no words. Music in minor keys and slow somber rhythms make you feed bad. The simple way to overcome this problem is don’t go to those movies and do not listen to that kind of music. Choose instead music and movies that are up lifting and happy. While rap music is not my style, I am after all a child of the 1960 when rock was born, it is not the style I object to. I object to the majority of the message presented. Much rap music was written about the life and times of people down on their luck. That message comes across in the songs. I am not interested in immersing myself and my self talk into that world so I do not listen to rap music even through I love the rhythm presented.

4 - The only person that can make you unhappy is you. No one else, only you.

Yes, your friend john did you dirty. Yes, your girlfriend Suzie left without warning. No, your job is not the best, but none of these thing affect the way you feel unless you let those feelings creep into your life and self talk. A friends mother, “Ms Hellen” had a saying i loved. She used it even when she knew she was dying, She said: “This too shall pass.” Using this phrase she dismissed the troubles of the day and continued her happy self talk. Some would say this behavior is delusional and is some sense I guess it is, but it allows you time to put everything in prospective. You can bypass the immediate problems and appreciate all your blessings, Your other friends are not like John. The availability of many girlfriends in the world that just might be nicer than Susie. Even the sunshine of another beautiful day just around the corner. Make these things the basis of your thoughts and you will find that your uplifting thoughts will create a happy world around you.

5 - If you desire to be happy, Sing!

When you find your self talk wandering to the dark side, find a happy song and sing. If your mind is focused on “Zipedy Do Da, Zipedy yea, my on my what a wonderful day, plenty of sunshine is coming my way” you can not be thinking negative harmful thoughts. You do not have use that specific song, You can choose any of the songs you know so long as you selected it to work according to the directions of item 3 above.

6 Keep a smile on your face

There are multiple studies showing mouth position is tied to your internal mood and self talk. It works both ways. When you are happy, you smile. When you smile, it makes you happy. Try it the next time you are faced with major troubles. Just say, “this too shall pass”, and put a smile on your face. If nothing else, it wall make your adversaries wonder what you going to do next. If you then start stinging a happy song, the senses are completely involved in happy self talk while your subconscious works out how to react to the bad things that are happening around you.

I hope these glimpses into my life will show you the way to move from sad to glad in a hurry. No one should go through life sad, it ruins your health while causing those around you to suffer.